my life, at this point is plagued with uncertainties. my heart pains over things which shouldn't even matter anymore. i look to people close to my heart hoping for some form of affirmation that the decisions i made are the right ones, but i do not get any. omens have been silent for a while or maybe i have just lost the ability to see them. everything is still. disturbingly still.
people sometimes break your heart without them knowing it. it's not that they do anything to hurt you intentionally. Often it's just because of the things they don't do. the words left unspoken, that phone call never made, hell, even a text message that never comes. all of these create a poignant hole inside you and the hole gets bigger as time passes and then at some point you begin to think whether this hole is really doing something good for you because you seem to be making decisions that either leave the hole where it is, or make it even bigger.
someone broke my heart today. for the simple reason that this person did not tell me what i so pained to hear. this person broke my heart because this person did not help me believe that the decision i made was right and worth standing by, that the decision i made and am continuing to make is nothing out of the ordinary just something that happened because the circumstances warranted it.
all these words do little to calm me. i feel defeated once again. but i close my eyes with the hope that tomorrow will be better.
Monday, March 29, 2004
Conformance and non-conformity. A paroxysm of rebellion. A study of life's bizzare melange of beauty, squalor, and absolute absurdity...
About Me
- Name: Pat
- Location: Manila, Philippines
Who am I? Life demands the best of me. I am.... who I am. I do enjoy intellectually stimulating conversations over coffee or alchohol in a mood setting environment! I do believe that there is no better life purpose than to perish in attempting the great and the impossible. I am also an agnostic, though I'm still hoping someone would be able to convert me back to belief. Someone who fully indulge the curiousity about the wonders of life. A mixture of decadence and decency... from a sizzling delicacy to a chilly polar frost... do you have what it takes to be me?
Previous Posts
- re: Dearest..?
- There are some people who meet that somebody that ...
- The truth is, I probably don't want to be too hap...
- another testimonial i wrote..
- names..
- Analogy of the Cave...
- ubermensch
- feelings
- mission and vision statements
- I Like for You to be Still
Subscribe to
Posts [Atom]
www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from parkinglot. Make your own badge here.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
1 Comments:
hey.
don't you think you're the only one hurting yourself?
pain will really engulf your whole being if you will keep on inviting that pain to penetrate your heart.
i mean, you do have the power to make it stop. to at least keep your emotions intact and strong. continuous self infliction of a disturbing emotion to one's self is a fatal enemy.you are being monotonously cruel to your own self by feeding that negative emotion. sometimes we tend to forget the fact that love should not be coupled with expectations and certain parameters. let it grow! naturally.. don't wait for it to grow, bloom and get deeper. doing such a thing will only make you concious of the time passing by. just let time pass, remember that time should not be over you. you should be the one over it. making decisions is one of the most evident powers which man should learn to control and use. making a certain decision should be married with courage and assurance. you do not need to ask that assurance from someone else. you made that decision. stand strong with it. don't let it fall just because you merely think that no one aside from you stands beside it. decisions are responsibilities. make a choice and make that choice happen. so what if you are wrong? so what if you fail? the important thing is you feel enlightened and strong that no matter what happens, you are a person of great standing. of unswerving strength, and sturdy principles.
hey.
don't keep it as a burden.
afterall, ther will be no winners if there are no losers.
Post a Comment
<< Home