To be or not to be.... that isn't the real question.

As with a sudden twist of fate, I was transformed from being the only child to being the eldest brother of four other sibblings. Tonight, I met my half brothers and sister. The oldest being 17, and the youngest seems like he's only 8 years old. Wow... I was aghast at the funeral parlor and felt awkward on how I should treat them. We met at my grandmother's wake, smiled after being introduced, and I sighed myself thinking what they could be thinking about me.

Alright, 23 years of being alone, and suddenly, I have to act as a model to my four other halflings... Hmm.. I wonder why they're eyes all look better! hehe... Now, I wonder, should I be including them in my dreams? We all have the same father and the same blood that runs through us.

Personal life aside, it’s been an action packed week, and for obvious reasons I would rather not talk about it right away. Yeah I am pretty sick of repeating the same things over and over and over UGHHHH. Of course, I mean to analyze it eventually when my thoughts are less like overcooked noodles. Suffice to say, just when I think I am immune to surprises someone comes along and knocks me for a six.

The only thing that I am excited about right now is gathering information on businesses. I have been looking for credible intelligent trustworthy people to serve in the future board of directors for Prescind Technologies (Inc.). I would be needing at least five. But eight seems to be a good number. Apart from my design and technology partners, I plan to look for money -half a million for a start to infuse in this new company we're forming. Capital coupled with idea makes a business. But it is not enough to have just both. To grow a business, from my experience, one needs to have the "passion" on making ideas and dreams possible, and have people with the same passion for the mission and the vision we want to achieve. Prescind Technologies shall be the primary holding company for all the projects that we will be undertaking.

I am very restless. I have been very indecisive lately. There’s no way to foresee or know which future course is the best for me and for the greatest number. Now, I know I have an additional four others to take care off, businesses, and the many others whose lives depends on me.

All my decisions would have a direct impact on my partners, my family, my other half brothers and siblings, those whose daily living is directly/indirectly dependent on me. All this adds to the burden of making the right move. My mind used to be pretty much made up. I am now basing my decision on what I believe would be the best for my partners, and my family today. I do not know if my decision is the right one as there is no way I can see my way through. All I can do is discover what my deepest intuition prompts me to do... What careful analysis and my foresight would tell me. Listen to what my instincts tell me. I just wish my heartbeats would stop pounding, so that I can listen to what my instincts tell me.

What do I really want? Love, Adventure, Security, companionship, Freedom....*sigh. Guess I want it all!!

Note to myself

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

Let's all drink to that!!!

P.S. I'm planning a house party (or a Chili's party) to my closest friends and Patronus. I miss alchohol!