Desolate
"What do we desire when we look at beauty? To be beautiful ourselves. We imagine that beauty comes with it great happiness, but this is a mistake." (Nietzsche)
I am writing again.... I guess one would not write about loneliness so much if one knew how to get the most out of it.
I went out with friends this weekend. Had a karaoke party friday, and a different kind of party saturday =). I found myself reuniting my past forging back alliances with the people I missed in my journey to finding beauty.
The most bizarre thing just happened this week. Both my x's shared a common space for each other. I knew it coming... but either i didn't care much, or because i trusted. Well, truly funny how both your refuse will find their way to each other. And yet, despite it all, my ex was giving me a crash course on ethics and morality... how people look onto their self interest more that the interest of the greater good is nothing new in this society. I regret the day I trusted this person. There's this pain of not having everything in common, and the misfortune of having everything in common. Honestly, I missed Chr more than I missed w....... for the simple fact that the latter has some issues.
It is terrifying to see how easily, in certain people, all dignity collapses. Yet when you think about it, this is quite normal since they only maintain this dignity by constatntly striving against their own nature.
There is one fatality though which is death, and outside this all other fatality disappears. In the space of time between birth and death, nothing is predetermined. You can change everything if you want to do so intensely and for a long time.
Am I heartbroken? Well, I guess I'm getting used to it or just probably have a different perspective now. A time comes when one can no longer feel the emotion of love. The only thing left is tragedy. Living for someone or something no longer has any meaning. Nothing seems to keep its meaning except the idea of dying for something.
A love which cannot bear to be faced with reality is not a real love. But then, it is the privilege of noble hearts not to be able to love.
I'll just find excess within moderation.
My joy is endless.
I am constantly emerging.Oh by the way, in the words of my friend Carlo... "When you think of your past love,you may view it was a failure. But when you find a new love, you may veiw the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What important is that you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you realy love someone when you want them to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it...Everything happens for the best. IF the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be affraid to love someone else again, For you'll never know unless you give it a try. you'll never love a person you unless you risk for love. LOVE strives in HURTING... If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love...wana feel love? kiss the flame and feel the pain..."
Here's a song ive been listening lately...
Maybe...
(Kaskade)
Seams like the only word we trust
So uncertain...
We stumble to understand our fall.
Maybe we're starting to deal
(Talkin' about us)
Maybe this love can be real
(Won't be walkin' away)
Maybe inside we feel
I'm not talking about us.
Maybe...
You can make me smile when you're around
You can be sunshine
But even sometimes the sunshine can bring me down.
Here's a song ive been listening lately...
Maybe...
(Kaskade)
Seams like the only word we trust
So uncertain...
We stumble to understand our fall.
Maybe we're starting to deal
(Talkin' about us)
Maybe this love can be real
(Won't be walkin' away)
Maybe inside we feel
I'm not talking about us.
Maybe...
You can make me smile when you're around
You can be sunshine
But even sometimes the sunshine can bring me down.
